Andy135

Two builders go into the pub after a hard day's work. They're sat drinking for a while when a very smartly dressed man walks in and orders a drink. The two began to speculate about what the man did for a living.

"I'll bet he's an accountant." said the first builder.

"Looks more like a stockbroker to me." argued the second.

They continued to debate the subject for a good while until eventually the first builder needed to use the toilet.

On walking in, he saw the smartly dressed man standing at a urinal. "Excuse me mate, but me and my friend have been arguing over what a smartly dressed fella like you does for a living?" the builder said to the man.

Smiling the man replied, "I'm a logical scientist."

"A what?" asked the builder.

"Let me explain" the man continued, "Do you have a goldfish at home?"

A bit puzzled, but intrigued the builder decided to play along, "Yes, I do as it happens."

"Well then it's logical to assume that you either keep it in a bowl or a pond. Which is it?"

"A pond" the builder replied.

"Well then it's logical to assume that you have a large garden."

The builder nodded his agreement.

So the man continued, "which means it's logical to assume you have a large house."

"I have a 6 bedroom house that I built myself." the builder said proudly.

"Given that you have such a large house, it's logical to assume that you are married..."

The builder nodded again, "Yes, I'm married and we have three children."

"Then it's logical to assume that you have a healthy sex life."

"Five nights a week!" the builder boasted.

The man smiled a little, "Therefore it's logical to assume you don"t masturbate often."

"Never!" the builder exclaimed.

"Well there you have it" the man explained, "That's logical science at work. From finding out that you have a goldfish, I've discovered the size of your garden, all about your house, your family and your sex life!"

The builder left, very impressed by the man's talents.

On returning to the bar the other builder asked, "I see that smart bloke was in there, did you find out what he does?"

"Yeah," replied the first, "He's a logical scientist."

"A what?" the puzzled second builder asked.

"Let me explain" the first builder continued, "Do you have a goldfish at home?"

"No" replied his mate.

”Well you’re a wanker then”

Early start on Sunday morning for a jigging trip. Plan was to be on the mark for low water. A foggy start saw us taking it slowly to begin with.

Conditions soon improved and we made good time to the mark. Wind was a bit stronger than forecast and kept us on our toes on the drift.

I had a decent bass early doors

But not alot else came to the boat, so we moved mark and dropped the anchor for an hour or so in a shallow water mark for smoothounds and bream. Neil got snapped off by a large Hound that took his bream rig. It made it to the surface then turned round and buggered off. Wasn't long though before Neil hooked into another.

We had a fair few bream too. No pics but one went home with Leo for tea.

On the way back home we saw a huge flock of seabirds working around Lepe and Calshot, so we paused and dropped feathers and lures. It seemed to be bass pushing sandeels to the surface, and we managed a schoolie on a slow jig on the end of some feathers.

Another good session aboard Tarlach Too. Thanks always to @Saintly Fish and Leo for skippering 👍.

Family coast walk to a spot we've been to many times before, but I'd not had the chance to take a rod along until now.

While the rest of the gang had their picnic lunch I headed down the steep cliffside to the water's edge, with strict instructions to be back in 30 minutes or the kids would get bored. Challenge accepted!

Once I'd found a suitable mark I tied on the old faithful 20g Major Craft slow jig in Zebra Glow. Three casts in and fish on - a decent sized mackerel for the barbecue.

A few more casts but only one tentative pluck that didn't hook up. With time ticking I called it and headed back up the cliff.

Not a bad effort for a super-speedy session. And he tasted great on the barbecue this evening with a drizzle of lemon juice, a sprinkle of salt and a cold beer.