A guy walked into a bar with a monkey.
The monkey grabbed some olives off the bar and ate them.
Then he grabbed some sliced limes and ate them. He then jumped onto the pool table and grabbed one of the balls.
To everyoneβs amazement, he stuck it in his mouth and somehow swallowed it whole.
The bartender looked at the guy and said, βDid you see what your monkey just did?β
βNo, what?β
βHe just ate the cue ball off my pool table β whole!β
βYeah, that doesnβt surprise me,β replied the guy, βhe eats everything in sight, donβt worry, Iβll pay for the cue ball.β
The guy finished his drink, paid his bill, paid for the stuff the monkey ate and left.
Two weeks later the guy came back and had his monkey with him.
He ordered a drink and the monkey started running around the bar.
The monkey found a cherry on the bar.
He grabbed it, stuck it up his bum, pulled it out and then ate it.
Then the monkey found a peanut and again stuck it up his bum, pulled it out and ate it.
The bartender asked, βDid you see what that filthy ape just did?β
βNo, what?β asked the man.
βWell, he stuck both a cherry and a peanut up his arse, then he pulled them out and ate them.β
βYeah, that doesnβt surprise me,β replied the guy.
βHeβll eat anything, but ever since he had to shit out that cue ball, he measures everything first.β