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jonnyswamp

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Posts posted by jonnyswamp

    What batteries

    in Boat Owning, Equipment and Maintenance

    Posted

    Now I've got my alternator problem sorted (cheers Zook) I will be replacing my one house battery (dying due to alt problem) with 2 new ones of around 100 AH each

    The idea being one for the windlass and one for the rest of the electrics. I'll probably go with a pair Numax XV31MF as these fit in the battery well, unless anyone can recommend a better alternative (both of these batteries need to be 175mm x 330mm max to fit in the well)

    I also want to fit a new starter battery and am open to suggestions as to something suitable to spin over a 4.2l diesel straight 6

    The size of this battery isn't really an issue as I have to make a tray for it

    Any thoughts ?

    Kids eh?

    in Fishy Humour

    Posted

    A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter. Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age." "Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fucking appendix out!"

    Whistling cat

    in Fishy Humour

    Posted

    A man is sitting on a train opposite a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realizes she hasn't got any knickers on. The blonde realizes he is staring and asks, "Are you looking at my pussy?" "Yes, I"m sorry," replies the man,and promises to stop looking "It"s quite alright," replies the woman, "It"s very talented, watch this, I"ll make it blow a kiss to you." Sure enough the pussy blows him a kiss. The man, who is completely stunned, asks what else the wonder pussy can do. "I can also make it wink," says the woman. The man stares in amazement as the pussy winks at him. "Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat. The man moves over and is asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?" Stunned, the man replies, "Good grief! Can it whistle too?!"

    Ex-wife

    in Fishy Humour

    Posted

    A bloke sees his ex-wife with her new lover and decides to wind him up so he shouts over "How's the second-hand pussy?" Quick as a flash, her lover replies "Great! After the first three inches, it's like brand new."

    Little Johnny

    in Fishy Humour

    Posted

    A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlour, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

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