jonnyswamp

So what's new? We're boat owners 😖🤣

Hope all goes well for your good lady Geoff. Please send Joyce our collective best wishes. 

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, 'What is this Father?' 
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number …and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son.....
'Go get your Mother'

I would have to have multiple boats..... Oh, I have 🤣
But preferrably they would all float, and be sea worthy.....

2 men at an airport. 1st man says, "I can't find my wife." 2nd man says, "I can't find mine either, what does yours look like?" 1st man " Six foot tall, blonde, big tits, mini skirt, high heels and a boob tube, whats yours look like?" 2nd man says, "Fuck her we'll look for yours.

A Woman goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are £100, £200, and £15. She asks why the last one is so cheap?

"Because he used to live in a brothel" says the shopkeeper. She pays $15.

When she gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me, a new brothel!" The woman laughs.

When her daughters get home the parrot says: "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!" The girls laugh too.

When the dad gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me Pete, haven't seen you for weeks!"

A 8-10m cat with twin diesel inboards
Fished of a twin outboard powered cat and wasn't keen, not a nice ride as it felt too light on the bow
And as money is no object, Id have a few of these, Milford Haven, Cardiff, somewhere in Cornwall (maybe Falmouth) Weymouth and maybe one a bit further east
I'd also have a 40ft Princess (or similar) down on the south coast, with another in Tenerife and possibly Barcelona
Pissed off now reality has set back in, who started this poxy thread 😭

A 8-10m cat with twin diesel inboards
Fished of a twin outboard powered cat and wasn't keen, not a nice ride as it felt too light on the bow
And as money is no object, Id have a few of these, Milford Haven, Cardiff, somewhere in Cornwall (maybe Falmouth) Weymouth and maybe one a bit further east
I'd also have a 40ft Princess (or similar) down on the south coast, with another in Tenerife and possibly Barcelona
Pissed off now reality has set back in, who started this poxy thread 😭

A 8-10m cat with twin diesel inboards
Fished of a twin outboard powered cat and wasn't keen, not a nice ride as it felt too light on the bow
And as money is no object, Id have a few of these, Milford Haven, Cardiff, somewhere in Cornwall (maybe Falmouth) Weymouth and maybe one a bit further east
I'd also have a 40ft Princess (or similar) down on the south coast, with another in Tenerife and possibly Barcelona
Pissed off now reality has set back in, who started this poxy thread 😭

A 8-10m cat with twin diesel inboards
Fished of a twin outboard powered cat and wasn't keen, not a nice ride as it felt too light on the bow
And as money is no object, Id have a few of these, Milford Haven, Cardiff, somewhere in Cornwall (maybe Falmouth) Weymouth and maybe one a bit further east
I'd also have a 40ft Princess (or similar) down on the south coast, with another in Tenerife and possibly Barcelona
Pissed off now reality has set back in, who started this poxy thread 😭

A Woman goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are £100, £200, and £15. She asks why the last one is so cheap?

"Because he used to live in a brothel" says the shopkeeper. She pays $15.

When she gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me, a new brothel!" The woman laughs.

When her daughters get home the parrot says: "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!" The girls laugh too.

When the dad gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me Pete, haven't seen you for weeks!"

A 8-10m cat with twin diesel inboards
Fished of a twin outboard powered cat and wasn't keen, not a nice ride as it felt too light on the bow
And as money is no object, Id have a few of these, Milford Haven, Cardiff, somewhere in Cornwall (maybe Falmouth) Weymouth and maybe one a bit further east
I'd also have a 40ft Princess (or similar) down on the south coast, with another in Tenerife and possibly Barcelona
Pissed off now reality has set back in, who started this poxy thread 😭

Yep, I'll be out next week too
Not sure what day yet, probably Weds or Thurs
As for up or down the Channel, that will depend how the charters get on, on Monday and Tuesday

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter. Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age." "Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fucking appendix out!"

10lb exactly

A young guy from Newfoundland moves to British Columbia and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.
The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in Newfoundland.
Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job.
"You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor.
"How many customers bought something from you today?" The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One". The boss says "Just one?!!? Our salespeople average sales to 20 to 30 customers a day.
That will have to change, and soon if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Vancouver. One sale a day might have been acceptable in Newfoundland, but you're not on the farm anymore, son."
The kid took his beating but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?"
The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65′′.
The boss, astonished, says $101,237.65?!? What the heck did you sell?"
The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4×4 Expedition."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK!?" The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing.'"

Ups n downs mate, ups n downs 👍

Had a lab crossed retriever from when I was 18 months old until she died when I was around 14. Heartbroken wouldn't have come close to how I felt at the time
Fuck, filling up now thinking about her, we literally went everywhere together 
she chaperoned me up to a shop my grandmother used to work in, which was about 2 miles away and we had to cross a busy Rd on our way there
I was about 2 and a half apparently and we escaped while my mother was pegging the washing out 

Had the springer for 16yrs. She was with me at work and play 24hrs.  Broke my heart when she died.  Thought 'that's it, no dog for quite a while'.  After several days mate brought round a young collie who'd been starved and beaten.  Still got him as my constant companion 10.5yrs later.  Still get melancholy about the springer (and the ones before) but now believe that the best thing is to get another dog ASAP when you lose one

Zook, you were up on a pedestal 
You're now sat on the kerb

What you really should have above all other things is a decent hoodie for the coming winter months. 
you can get a great one here... 
 
 

Hi lads
Fish?  Farmed them researched them, injected them, put transmitters in them, surveyed stocks, re-built habitats, skippered a patrol boat, enforced legislation.  Enforced retirement due to health (I AM mad), now reside in County Kerry (15yrs).  Fish in river, lough, sea shore and boats whenever I feel like it.  Only downside is that my house is a virtual ruin, so me and the dog have to make do with a mobile home.  Just now the wind is shaking the van and the rain is pounding on the roof.  What with the place and people, I wouldn't rather be anywhere!

@Johnboijon, I originally posted the below on our old Outlaws forum site - just dug it out and re-posted it here in case it helps you or anyone else.
 
I recently invested in a C-Map Max N+ card with their new Reveal layer - one of the guys in my club had sent round a Whatsapp image of his plotter showing some amazing images of the sea floor so I wanted to see for myself. I consider myself a Navionics fan because of their detailed contours, but the C-Map Reveal sea floor interpretation takes this to the next level.
This first image is just south of the Owers, off Selsey Bill. That great big hole shows up nice and clearly, including the steep face of the NNW wall of the hole. Got to be worth a drift over that.



And below is a close up of the wreck from the image above.


Here's an image of a wreck that I had marked on my plotter already showing good correlation between my bow and stern marks and the underlying sea floor mapping.

 
I reckon C-Map have licensed some of the sea-floor mapping data from the DORIS site as the C-Map coverage (or rather the gaps in coverage) of the St Catherine's Deep area are pretty much identical to DORIS's, which can't be a coincidence.
The Reveal layer could be a great way to find that little patch of unfished rough ground that doesn't show up on a regular chart. I already have a few marks picked out in my neck of the woods to try out.

Never mentioned anything or reported anyone. Signed up as i was given the link. So they must be monitoring.
Ive been a member there for years. Had my fair share of messages deleted over time. I used to post regularly on the old conservation area. long gone now.