Saintly Fish

A man is alone in an airport lounge. A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him. He decides, because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty stewardess. Because her jacket is folded neatly beside her he can’t see any logos so he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly. He leans across to her and says the British Airways motto: 'To Fly. To Serve'. The woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line. He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto: 'Winning the hearts of the world'. Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face. Undeterred, he tries a third time, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto:'Going beyond expectations'. The woman looks at him sternly and says: 'What the f**k do you want?' 'Ah ha!' he says, "Ryanair".

One day a Jew, a Hindu, and a scouser all arrived at their hotel to find that there had been a mix-up with the bookings, and that there was only one room left for them to share. The manager explained that this room only had two beds, but that there was a barn at a neighbouring farm which the farmer, an old friend of his, would let one of them sleep in free of charge. They complained a bit, but since there was nowhere else to go, the Jew graciously said he’d sleep in the barn. The Hindu and the scouser were just settling down to sleep in their room, when there was a knock on the door. It was the Jew. “I’m sorry,” he said, “but there’s a pig in that barn and because I’m Jewish I feel uncomfortable about sharing the barn with it.” “No problem,” said the Hindu. “I’ll sleep out there instead.” So off he went to the barn, leaving the scouser and the Jew to share the room. They were just settling down to sleep, when there was a knock on the door. It was the Hindu. “I’m sorry,” he said, “but there’s a cow in that barn and because I’m a Hindu I feel uncomfortable about sharing the barn with it.” The scouser grudgingly agreed to give up his bed and stomped off to the barn, leaving the Jew and the Hindu to share the room. The Jew and the Hindu were just settling down to sleep, when there was a knock on the door. It was the cow and the pig.😂😂🤣🤣😂😂

So I would need to take him and the guitar to the service place?

You'll have to post up contact details etc later!!

Not sure what you mean by that?? Set it up?

He is due a new set of strings TBF and he's not the best at remembering to tune the thing. Even though his teacher tells him every week. The guitar itself is a real good little 3/4 size Ibinez.

Hell ain't a bad place to be..

Sad but true

😂😂 A man was in a long queue at his local supermarket. As he got to the register he realised he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register: She asked. "What size condoms?" The customer replied that he didn’t know. She asked him to drop his trousers, she reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him, and called over the intercom. "One box of large condoms, Till 5." The next man in line thought this was interesting and like most of us was up for a cheap thrill. When he got up to the register, he told the cashier that he too had forgotten to get condoms and asked if she could have some brought to the register for him. She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn’t know. She asked him to drop his trousers, gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom microphone, and said. "One box of medium-sized condoms, Till 5." A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a woman, so he thought this was his chance. When he got to the checkout he told the girl he needed some condoms. She asked him what size and he said he didn’t know. She asked him to drop his trousers, she reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze then picked up the Intercom and said….... "Mop and bucket, till 5." 😂😂

Excellent, just make sure that unlike @Odysseyyou post them the right way up! 👍🏻

Sounds like excellent fishing. Can't wait for the full report. With pics I hope!!

So @Geoff when's this going to happen?? When are we all going to come along and witness/help the ceremony?? Don't say you've already got her him wet!

Good luck. Will watch this with interest.

Well let us know how you get on. Maybe it's another consideration for us all!!

@Ivan Tuna so this email never got a response. So I will be contacting anglers world and see what they say. If your still interested.

Here are the top ten fishing apps as compiled by a popular boat website. Just incase they are useful to anybody. Maybe you use one and have feedback you can share with the rest of us.?? https://www.boatsandoutboards.co.uk/resources/7-best-fishing-apps/?utm_source=BAOB&utm_campaign=caf87aa982-BAOB_B2C+Newsletter_June_2022&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_cdad37b28f-caf87aa982-114303010

Murphy, a furniture dealer from Dublin, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris, he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French (which Murphy could not understand), so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language. After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin, drew a picture of a wine glass, and showed it to her. She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her. After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band packed up. Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed. To this day, Murphy has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.

You should ask @Odyssey to re post it, the big 🐔

You buckled.

Had a change of heart?? I should have taken a screen shot of the original.

0/10

Didn't you take a lovely photo of the one I caught? You could post it here and then return to yearn at your hearts content.

I just can't tell anymore 🤷🏻‍♂️

Oh, dog fish envy. The ugly side.